Just as we are getting set to head home after a long 24 hour shift, our Director approaches us and asks if we will stay over and cover the Obama campaign(against McCain) at an all black college. Now let me remind you we are as white as they come. So, we agree only b/c it is time and a half and we neeeeed the money. So we set out to the celebration, get cleared by the secret service and wait. There are about 2,000 students that show strong political support for this candidate. So the President of the school gets up and gets a few cheers, he then proceeds unbeknownst to us, and only to us, that there are a few guest speakers prior to the Presidential Candidate. The fucking gymnasium starts to rumble and we don’t know what in the hell is going on. So Kerry Washington gets to the podium and gives her shpeel with good applause. Then she introduces fucking Chris Tucker! The Place goes wild and so do we because we love that bitch. He strolls out and the bith is short as hell. He looks like he is like 6’5 onscreen but this dude was topping out at 5’7. He was great! Here is where we find out why we are truly at this black college, full of black people, to support their black Presidential Candidate. Chris finishes his introduction for the next speaker.. This astoundingly talented black man walks out and there are bitches fainting everywhere. The noise is deafening and the place looks like a fucking mass casualty incident. Who are they reacting to? The next President? Hell no! It is fucking USHER! Jesus! So after he finishes making every woman and some men cum their pants off, Obama comes out and the noise decreases to almost a whisper and Obama does his thing. You know, like talk about shit none of these mutherfuckers know about. Shit! We saw Usher. Who is this bitch? He finishes and the whole crew comes out and my wife is missing. Scanning the room, I see her trying to push her little white ass into to the lineup to get Usher and Chris’s autograph. You got to love her. So now we know why this government is so fucked up! It is because Usher is not President. Thank you.